“How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 8:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” - Charles Bukowski
“I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.” - Mark Twain
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” - Marilyn Monroe
“What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.” - Dave Barry
