“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.” - Robert Heinlein
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.” - Rodney Dangerfield
“What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.” - Dave Barry
