“What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.” - Dave Barry “What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.” - Dave Barry “It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.” - Dave Barry
“I didn't become an actor to have power, but it just happens that I have it and so I have a lot of opportunities.” - Tom Cruise
“Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.” - Suze Orman
“You only lie to two people in your life, your girlfriend and the police.” - Jack Nicholson
